Ah, New Year’s Eve. When our love affair with cell phones mixes with our love for alcohol. When we’re at our most foolish for all the world to see.
But fear not. Some of the most famous people in the world have mixed alcohol or just bad sense with the online world, so you wouldn’t be alone, or the first or the last to post when drunk. However, we recommend that rather than copying some celebrity clangers on Twitter or Facebook, you post with discretion and instead enjoy seeing which drunken posts you spot after the New Year celebrations fit into one the following celebrity Twitter/Facebook faux pas!
- The Alec Baldwin: These painful rants often result in a total meltdown. Often, the poster will delete his or her account, but the memory of their posts lives on.
- Those beer-fueled posts that take on a painful “woe is me” tone that when read by the rest of human society, come across as removed from the real world. These are called Charlie Sheens—or Lindsay Lohans if the poster is female.
- When you drink and carelessly post an opinion about something that requires the utmost delicacy or, even better, no comment at all, that’s an Ashton Kutcher. If instead of blaming the post on a glitch you keep doing it over and over again—that’s a Gilbert Godfrey.
- When your posts have reached a scorch-the-earth fever pitch, and you’ve lambasted just about every group or individual you can think of, you’re following the same path blazed by Mel Gibson—except in your case you can pretty much assume you will never be employed again.
- If you get intoxicated, take nude or other compromising pictures of yourself, and accidentally post them on the Internet, there’s a 99% chance somebody will see it—and a 100% chance you’ve just pulled a Hayley Williams.
- If you get really intoxicated and purposefully send compromising photos of yourself to your Twitter friends, you have, for some ungodly reason, just committed an Anthony Weiner.
- Posting TMI about your romantic preferences or other confessionals will put you in good company with Amanda Byrnes.
- The random, nonsensical jibberish you might post after you’ve tied one on is called a Courtney Stodden.
- And if every other tweet gets you into trouble, but you just can’t understand why people don’t see things your way, you’ve just pulled a Chris Brown, and you really shouldn’t be on Twitter or Facebook or the Internet. Ever.
The moral of this story? Be not like those who drink and post, but those who get up early enough the next morning to enjoy the show. Use some discretion and think before you post if you have had one drink too many!